I'm starting to prioritize my art practice by doing it first thing in the morning. Before I recommitted myself to being creative again, I constantly went months without making anything. I never fully understood the value of making art, so I would quickly stop as soon as "more important" things called for my attention. Making art felt trivial, unimportant, and selfish.
The desire has ALWAYS been inside of me, but I've discredited it so many times since I started getting the message that creativity & play are for children or reserved for an elite group of super talented PROFESSIONAL artists.
Well I'm finally allowing myself to play again. To explore without feeling like I must only do "adult" things to somehow prove my worth & seriousness as a human being. I'm unlearning a LOT. Caring less about making certain people proud. Questioning societal standards and limitations. Risking looking silly in front of those I once tried to impress.
So far, it feels like I can finally take a full breath of relief and start settling deeper into REAL, inherent joy.